You Just Never Know Which Moment Will Change Your Life

Thirty-one years ago this month, I told Gordon that I loved him. I never meant to say it aloud. I had loved him secretly for five years and did not believe for one minute that he loved me too. I feared if I told him that I loved him, he would reject me flat out, and I didn't think I could handle that. No, better to be silent and take my secret love to my grave (one can be so dramatic when young).

However, my friend, Debbie, thought otherwise. She believed that I should tell Gordon and find out, once and for all, what his feelings were for me. Debbie never thought Gordon cared for me because, if he had, wouldn't he have said something during the previous five years? Debbie reasoned that after professing my love to Gordon and being rejected, I would then be able to go forward in my life without any foolish fantasy. She said I could weep and then let go of the idea of Gordon and find someone to love who would love me back. Debbie was very matter-of-fact about it and helped me plan the moment to tell Gordon.

Well, the moment started out well. I steeled my nerves and went up to Gordon.  I blurted out that I loved him. He smiled and said he felt the same way. Confused, I replied that I loved him like a man not just a friend, and he said he knew just what I meant and that he loved me too. He then made it quite clear with a kiss that made all the movie kisses seem pale by comparison.

Wow, not what I had expected at all! I had planned for every sort of rejection, but that Gordon loved me too never crossed my mind. Well, as I said, that was thirty-one years ago. Sadly, Gordon no longer celebrates the moment with me. His dementia has robbed us of that pleasure. Instead, our grown children and I celebrate the moment together each year because that moment not only changed my life forever, but it also was the catalyst for my four loves, my four blessings, my four children being born. That crazy, foolish, risky moment changed the world forever. I cannot imagine the world without these four lovely individuals in it, and each of them is extremely glad that their mom found the courage to risk being rejected that moment so long ago.

You just never know which moment will change your life forever.

Take care, 

Kate

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